At the beginning of my counseling practicum, I set a goal to feel a clear measure of difference in my level of confidence in treatment planning, and to be able to better see and articulate reasonable goals for a client.
This is one of the areas where I am most pleased with the changes that have come about from this experience. I definitely feel more confident in reasonable treatment planning and goal, largely because I have a much better understanding of what reasonable goals can look like.
When I was becoming frustrated with the fact that we continued to meet and yet I was seeing no healthy or positive change in the behavior of the girls, my supervisor told me two things that were extremely helpful in this area. For one, she explained the idea of trajectory. She said that if a client is on one path, if you stretch out that path to a long-term conclusion, you will end up in one place. But if you are able to change a client’s trajectory, even a tiny bit, even one degree, it doesn’t look like really anything right at the beginning – there is barely any difference at all. But, if you follow that out to the long term, you will see that much later, the ending places of two different trajectories (even two that were only off by the smallest bit) are quite different.
The other thing she told me was that you might not see any changes in their behavior right now. The only thing you might do is to show them that their behavior is not the only way that things can be but that there are actually other choices. Even if that is the only thing you accomplish and they keep acting just as they did and the only thing that is different is that they see now other options (even if they don’t take them), that is actually a huge thing. If they only ever saw one inevitable path, then their future is set in stone. But if you can help them to see the existence of other paths, who knows what they might choose in the future.
This feedback was extremely helpful for me, as I was able to see that success in counseling cannot only be measure by radical, immediate, behavioral change. In fact, it can often not be measured by that. This perspective allowed me to have much greater hope for the long-term benefits of having planted some healthy seeds, even if I don’t ever see them grow.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Listened To
I have previously written about the fact that I don't publish this blog because I would feel so much more pressure to edit it and make it way better and funny and all that, and that's certainly true.
But I also don't publish it because I feel very convicted that there is a real accountability that comes with readership. Right now, people don't really know about it, so I can say what I want without much hedging or explaining and if I realize later that I was totally wrong, no harm, no fowl - no explaining to anyone.
I don't have much to say about this, except that I think it is a very real thing. If we claim to speak and teach the truths of God, then we are MUCH more accountable to what we say, because now instead of rambling, we are actually leading someone.
See James 3:1-2
I have a tendency to shoot my mouth off sometimes with the first comment I have, and God has reminded me recently that people who set themselves up as leaders simply cannot do this. The girls of our new youth group at Crossroads said recently that I was "so smart" and, much more dangerously, that "everything I say is right." Well, I could go on and on about how that's wrong and if they think that, then it's their problem for putting too much faith in the words of other people and not using enough discernment in deciding what to believe and all of that (which I think is actually true), but in a situation like this, that's pretty much moot. Whether or not they need to examine their own hearts about just drinking up the words of anyone without wisdom and scrutiny doesn't really matter very much. Whether they should listen to me blindly or not isn't terribly relevant because THEY DO listen to me like that. And they are young, and I am older, and so you know who the responsibility falls on? ME. Absolutely me.
And if I just dismissed those comments and kept saying whatever I want with the attitude that they are the ones accountable for what they believe, etc etc etc, you know who is outside of God's will? Me, not them.
Ruth trusted Naomi like this.
"But Ruth replied, 'Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.' When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her."
Should Ruth has exercised some more caution in how blindly she followed someone other than God? Well, maybe. But the accountability and responsibility was then on Naomi!
Again, I don't have much more to say other than that we need to be very aware of just who is listening and just how seriously and how blindly they take our example and if that is present, God has made US accountable to the health of those little ones (even if those little ones are 50 years old or whatever else).
But I also don't publish it because I feel very convicted that there is a real accountability that comes with readership. Right now, people don't really know about it, so I can say what I want without much hedging or explaining and if I realize later that I was totally wrong, no harm, no fowl - no explaining to anyone.
I don't have much to say about this, except that I think it is a very real thing. If we claim to speak and teach the truths of God, then we are MUCH more accountable to what we say, because now instead of rambling, we are actually leading someone.
See James 3:1-2
I have a tendency to shoot my mouth off sometimes with the first comment I have, and God has reminded me recently that people who set themselves up as leaders simply cannot do this. The girls of our new youth group at Crossroads said recently that I was "so smart" and, much more dangerously, that "everything I say is right." Well, I could go on and on about how that's wrong and if they think that, then it's their problem for putting too much faith in the words of other people and not using enough discernment in deciding what to believe and all of that (which I think is actually true), but in a situation like this, that's pretty much moot. Whether or not they need to examine their own hearts about just drinking up the words of anyone without wisdom and scrutiny doesn't really matter very much. Whether they should listen to me blindly or not isn't terribly relevant because THEY DO listen to me like that. And they are young, and I am older, and so you know who the responsibility falls on? ME. Absolutely me.
And if I just dismissed those comments and kept saying whatever I want with the attitude that they are the ones accountable for what they believe, etc etc etc, you know who is outside of God's will? Me, not them.
Ruth trusted Naomi like this.
"But Ruth replied, 'Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.' When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her."
Should Ruth has exercised some more caution in how blindly she followed someone other than God? Well, maybe. But the accountability and responsibility was then on Naomi!
Again, I don't have much more to say other than that we need to be very aware of just who is listening and just how seriously and how blindly they take our example and if that is present, God has made US accountable to the health of those little ones (even if those little ones are 50 years old or whatever else).
Ready for the Battle
I read Proverbs 21:31 recently and fell in love with it in a way that I haven't before.
It says:
"The horse is made ready for the battle, but the victory is the Lord's."
It made me think about my own preparation versus God's sovereignty. This proverb is saying that the army needs to get ready. Is it right for the soldiers to get fat and lazy between wars? Is it right to have crappy armor? Is it right not to train your horses or give them good saddles or help them stay in shape? Of course not. Just like an army that is ready, we need to do the things we need to do to be equipped for our job. Even though we ultimately trust in God, the horse is still made ready for the battle. It isn't smart to never save any money, never go to school to learn, never spend time developing any skills. Would you not take prenatal vitamins to help your baby? Is it a lack of faith in God that compel us to do things that will contribute to our futures in a positive and preparatory way? No. It honors God for us to make ourselves ready! He has given us mind that can come up with plans, can reason through options, can wisely avoid danger, can learn from mistakes, can make decisions - and all of these things honor Him as we use them well. I do not think that His power is lessened if we use wisdom to prepare as best we can.
After this though, we must remember that no amount of our own preparation is the key to any of our success. At the end of the day, the eternal, and even circumstantial, success of our efforts is God's. I think this can be both a relaxing and a difficult thing.
On the negative side, we really don't get much credit for our successes. Success, just like the tools we used to prepare ourselves for it, is a gift from the Lord. We get very little (really no) credit. The glory for success is His, and this can be frustrating as we want some ego-stroking return on the investment we put in.
On the positive side, we don't have to take every seeming failure on ourselves. If we can honestly say that we did the best we could with what we had and we followed God the best way we knew how and things still didn't work out well, we don't have to carry all of that. Sometimes, we do all the things we think we should and things still fail or don't work out or crumble. It is in these moments that we have to remember that the plan wasn't ultimately ours to begin with - it was God's, and if He chose for the time being to withhold success, we do not have to walk away hating ourselves. (the hard part of this, to me, is maintaining joy and faith in His plans even when I worked really hard for something that ended up failing.)
The fact that the victory is the Lord's is both a frustration (when we want credit) and a comfort (when things fail), but it is also a scary place. Because what that means is that no amount of our own preparation and planning can ENSURE victory. We can do the best we can to be ready, but God will either give us victory or He won't, and we can force His hand either way. While it is scary to be in control of things (because if they fail, then it's on you), there is some comfort in control because you get to decide how things turn out.
There are many facets of this and many frustrations within it, especially as we have to learn to be joyful and trusting and faithful in the face of sometimes not getting our way.
But I hope that's its more of a comfort, and I hope that we can all get to a place where we trust God enough and give Him enough credit that, when things do go badly, we actually really BELIEVE that He will work it out, that this setback is a painful little piece of an ultimately wonderful plan.
Remember Daniel 3:16-18:
"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, 'King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.'"
It says:
"The horse is made ready for the battle, but the victory is the Lord's."
It made me think about my own preparation versus God's sovereignty. This proverb is saying that the army needs to get ready. Is it right for the soldiers to get fat and lazy between wars? Is it right to have crappy armor? Is it right not to train your horses or give them good saddles or help them stay in shape? Of course not. Just like an army that is ready, we need to do the things we need to do to be equipped for our job. Even though we ultimately trust in God, the horse is still made ready for the battle. It isn't smart to never save any money, never go to school to learn, never spend time developing any skills. Would you not take prenatal vitamins to help your baby? Is it a lack of faith in God that compel us to do things that will contribute to our futures in a positive and preparatory way? No. It honors God for us to make ourselves ready! He has given us mind that can come up with plans, can reason through options, can wisely avoid danger, can learn from mistakes, can make decisions - and all of these things honor Him as we use them well. I do not think that His power is lessened if we use wisdom to prepare as best we can.
After this though, we must remember that no amount of our own preparation is the key to any of our success. At the end of the day, the eternal, and even circumstantial, success of our efforts is God's. I think this can be both a relaxing and a difficult thing.
On the negative side, we really don't get much credit for our successes. Success, just like the tools we used to prepare ourselves for it, is a gift from the Lord. We get very little (really no) credit. The glory for success is His, and this can be frustrating as we want some ego-stroking return on the investment we put in.
On the positive side, we don't have to take every seeming failure on ourselves. If we can honestly say that we did the best we could with what we had and we followed God the best way we knew how and things still didn't work out well, we don't have to carry all of that. Sometimes, we do all the things we think we should and things still fail or don't work out or crumble. It is in these moments that we have to remember that the plan wasn't ultimately ours to begin with - it was God's, and if He chose for the time being to withhold success, we do not have to walk away hating ourselves. (the hard part of this, to me, is maintaining joy and faith in His plans even when I worked really hard for something that ended up failing.)
The fact that the victory is the Lord's is both a frustration (when we want credit) and a comfort (when things fail), but it is also a scary place. Because what that means is that no amount of our own preparation and planning can ENSURE victory. We can do the best we can to be ready, but God will either give us victory or He won't, and we can force His hand either way. While it is scary to be in control of things (because if they fail, then it's on you), there is some comfort in control because you get to decide how things turn out.
There are many facets of this and many frustrations within it, especially as we have to learn to be joyful and trusting and faithful in the face of sometimes not getting our way.
But I hope that's its more of a comfort, and I hope that we can all get to a place where we trust God enough and give Him enough credit that, when things do go badly, we actually really BELIEVE that He will work it out, that this setback is a painful little piece of an ultimately wonderful plan.
Remember Daniel 3:16-18:
"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, 'King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.'"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)