Working For It

When Jesus said, "I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst" (John 6:35), He wasn't talking about food and water; He was addressing emptiness—the want and discontentment—that we so naturally have in our hearts. I believe this is one of the biggest ways that salvation is intended to impact our lives on earth. So many of salvation's blessings will come after death, but this one is one of the great gifts that He wants to give us through salvation in this life. He wants to give us victory over the never-ending chase for making ourselves happy. He wants to let us rest from that. I fully believe in a salvation that I didn’t contribute anything to, aside from the request I made for it. I didn’t do anything to get it, I didn’t first muster any amount of goodness or strength or righteousness up from inside. I just asked, and I got it. No contribution. No effort. No mustering. I wonder if we were intended to view spiritual gifts in the same way. They are called spiritual gifts, after all. For some reason, I have no trouble viewing salvation that way, but when it comes to a need in my life for more contentment, or faith, or courage, or gentleness, or patience, I feel like I do need God’s help, but on some level, I need to get to work digging around inside to find some untapped well of all those good things and do a better job of accessing it. Or maybe, I feel like those things are underdeveloped, weak muscles that I need to get busy exercising. And to some degree, that may be true, because I do believe that God lets us go through hardship so that our spirits and behaviors can be purified and cultivated. However, mustering up the strength to start being more content or patient or something seems to be the place I start. I wonder if Jesus intended us to ask for those spiritual gifts the same way that we asked for salvation – contributing nothing and asking with simple faith for free gifts. Philippians 4:6 tells us not to be anxious about anything. We aren’t supposed to act like we aren’t bothered or stoically ignore pain – we are allowed to address the troublesome issue, but we’re told to replace our anxious worrying with prayer. I wonder if using prayer as replacement behavior for patterns of anxiety is exactly the same thing Jesus would like for us to do as we cultivate spiritual gifts. When I see my own need for contentment or gentleness or faith, I often respond with attempts to dig deep and fake it til I make it, and start building those things up myself. Maybe I need to replace my very American bootstrap up-pulling with prayerful asking. I think Jesus might prefer that I expectantly but simply ask him for the spiritual things I need, just the way I did with my salvation – with no contribution or personal effort. We so often have no because we ask not, and I think I might ask not because I think I’m supposed to log the hours of spiritual workout. I wonder if I stay spiritually hungry when I didn’t have to, because I think my dad will be more proud of me if I’ve worked hard and scavenged for my own nutrients, when really, all he wanted was for me to come home and ask for some dinner. I wonder if I live off of spiritual nuts and berries in the forest, when I had a full dinner of Bread right there. We have been offered full provision as a gift. I believe that pertains to the process of getting into the Family, AND of becoming a more fully functioning member. Do we ask for spiritual growth and giftedness with the same attitude of helplessness we had when we asked for salvation?